Guest Post: Poop Potions

As you can tell from the title, today's post is a contribution from the most ladylike girl I know, my sister. As I was sitting at work last week, I got an email from her with the subject titled, "New Blog for You." As my email opened, I thought, hmm, she's already written about cheese and bagels, I'm not sure what's left for her to write since she has limited culinary abilities. Then, as I began reading, I thought, "ohhh hell yes, shit shakes."

For those don't know my sister, she is a bit healthier than I am. She usually limits herself to only one fatty dish per week and hits the gym on a regular basis to pump some iron. And, her staple food: Shit Shakes. I've had these all-fruit wonders a few times when she has leftovers and let's just say if these won't make you regular, you are shit out of luck.

Happy reading.

Hi Readers!

Ok, I know what you’re thinking.

And readers, you should really stop being so close-minded.

But go ahead; I'll give your minute to 'Eww' and 'Gross' at the title of this blog.

(This is your minute to stop reading)

Now you should really all be happy. I was going to entitle this blog entry 'S*** Shakes' but I thought that would really disgust you.

The things I do for you readers.

Now, down to business. I've taken a lot of crap on this blog (pun intended). For example the following, slanderous statement, was written by the owner of this blog: my sister (aka me) is "the manipulative one who", has "limited culinary abilities" (See: A Love Affair with ‘Super Foods’).

Yet perhaps there is some truth to this. I perhaps may only know how to make three dishes and constantly forget how to use an oven. However, there is one thing I can make (please stand by for what that is). Moreover, I perhaps am a tad manipulative. By this I mean, I can trick myself into thinking that I am really full and ready to use the bathroom. How do I do this?

Easy.

Poop Potions.


Also, known as a Fruit-Protein Shake.

You should try one. Why should you try one? Because it’s something quick and easy to make. It’s healthy. It really does fill you up. And despite its name you will not be running to the bathroom (but it does help with the interworkings of one’s digestive system).

I would start out with this one:

Ingredients:
¾ Cup of Vanilla Yogurt

¾ Cup of Non-fat Milk
½ Cup of frozen strawberries (unfrozen works as well)
4 Ice Cubes
2 Tsp of vanilla whey powder
2 Tsp of healthy peanut butter (aka no Skippy or Jiff)
1 Banana


Unnecessary Detailed Directions (sorry I get overly excited, I don’t usually get to write cooking directions):

1. Take all these ingredients and throw them into a blender.
2. Then, press blend
3. Then, wait until ingredients are blended
4. Then, pour into cup (should make about 1 and half glasses)
5. Then, drink. And yes readers, this is supposed to take the place of your breakfast, not act as a compliment to your Jimmy Dean breakfast burrito.

Enjoy and happy bath rooming!